Today is the Day

So, today is the day I’m going to put the scale away.  I’ve decided to put this weight loss business on hold for a few more months.  I’ve lost some weight in the past 60 days, but in that time I’ve put a lot of stress on myself and my daughter.

Since the day I decided I was going to try and lose some weight I had also decided it was time to wean my daughter.  Well, she’s not having it.  And while she’s not nursing all the time like she was a couple months ago, she likes to do so when she’s sleepy.  I know it’s mostly a comfort thing and that’s ok with me, but I was trying to stop it and that made things ugly.  The more I tried not to nurse, the clingier she got.  The clingier she got, the more frustrated I got.  It was turning into a vicious circle.

I’ve since stopped that circle.  Life has gotten much more tolerable and pleasant.  I still plan on tracking my food and watching what I eat.  I still plan on exercising at home and even going to the gym from time to time.  If I lose some weight along the way, that’s all fine and dandy.

 

You Don’t Need A Gym

I was in the Army for 13 years.  I used to exercise a LOT.  Running at least three days a week.  Strength training and calisthenics on the other days.  In the rain, snow, cold, heat, we rarely got to go inside a gym.  So, why should I need one now?  I don’t.

We just recently moved back to the United States from Germany.  We’re not living on post and I thought I needed a place to go to exercise.  So, we got a membership at our local Family Y.  For $65 a month you can have unlimited use of their facilities, plus 2 hours of free child care a day.  I have used the child care 3 or 4 times since the beginning of August.  Not enough to justify paying $65 a month.  We’ve since canned the membership.  The only thing I miss about there is the pool.  Other Y’s I’ve been to have daily fees that you can pay for the use of the pool or weight room, this one doesn’t.

I now frequent a nearby park that has a walking/running trail.  It’s a quarter mile track with lots of shading and a playground.  On the days I don’t go walking I use my living room as my personal gym.  I have some small weights  and resistance bands for upper-body work.  I do push-ups, sit-ups and whatever else comes to mind.  I turn on my work out music and make up my own routines or do some hooping.  Lucky for me, the Army has taught me lots of good exercises that I can do at home.

It’s Baaaack.

One of the reasons I loved breastfeeding so much was that it kept my period away.  I loved the idea of being free of that ugly beast that lives in me for as long as possible.

Well, she’s back, or rather, it’s back.  I’m not the ugly beast just yet, that will probably take a few months.  But my red free reign is over.  It’s been a nice 20 months without that headache.

I’m hoping that with the diet changes and exercise I can keep my beast at bay.  I really don’t like the effect those hormonal changes have on my family.  That now explains my irritability last week and the lack of any weight loss.

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Midnight Snacks

Last night was a pretty rough night.  The baby was fussy until around 3 a.m.  As I settled back into bed and tried to get comfortable, my stomach rumbled.  I ignored it, it rumbled some more.  I drank a glass of water.  It rumbled LOUDER.  I could see that I was not going to be able to fall asleep with my tummy rumbling.  I headed for the kitchen.  By the light of the refrigerator I searched the cupboards.  I checked out the stuff in the refrigerator.  I couldn’t find anything to snack on.  Finally, I went back to the cupboards and grabbed a few peanut butter cookies.  Not the best choice, I know, but they’re yummy and they fill me up. I finally fell asleep around 3:30 a.m.  only to get woken up by that pesky alarm I have set for 7 a.m.

A Visual Difference

Me 8/26/2010 Weight: 195 ish

So, here are some pictures of me the day I decided to really put forth an effort to lose weight.  They were taken on the 26th of August.  In terms of exercise I had started out swimming laps and walking.  I was sick for a few days and didn’t do any real exercise for four or five days.  Then I kept it light.  I have only a few days where I put a LOT of effort into burning those calories. I’ve really started getting into this hooping stuff and that is the majority of my workouts now.  I add other exercises in too to break up the monotony of just hooping and to give my core muscles a break.  I make up my own routines as I go.

6 months pregnant? Nope. Just "Fluffy"

Over the past few days I’ve noticed a difference in my body.  My middle is definitely getting smaller.  I’ve also noticed my face thinning out.  I want to attribute the change to my hooping, but I don’t know if that’s the only thing that is making a difference.  I would think that it is since that is the area I’ve been working the most.

Me today 9/9/2010

I’m not anywhere near looking like I want to, but it is a marked improvement from 2 weeks ago.  And no, I’m not sucking it in.  😉

Not so "Fluffy" anymore.

Baking=Binging

I have an eating problem or should I say, disorder.  I am a binge eater.  I do not purge.  I eat when I am bored or upset or no reason at all.  My other problem is that I LOVE to bake and cook.  The cooking part isn’t so bad because I keep the cooking pretty healthy.  It’s the baking.  First, I don’t know how to NOT make reasonably sized batches of cookies, one pie, one cake.  I bake in excess and then I feel the need to consume it all.

In some ways being a binge eater or having any kind of eating disorder is like being an alcoholic or a drug addict.  It can wreak havoc on your life.  You hide your eating episodes, you have mood swings and sometimes you feel helpless and hopeless.

I realized about a year ago that my problem with food could be classified at binge eating.  The incident that led to the realization of this problem is as follows:  we had a cake (at this point I can’t remember if it was someone’s birthday or a “just because” type of thing).  I remember going to the kitchen while no one was home and grabbing a fork and the cake.  I had eaten about half of what was left of the cake before I got disgusted with myself.  I threw the cake in the garbage.  About 20 minutes later, I wanted that cake back.  I had thoughts of taking it back out of the garbage and finishing it.  I didn’t do it, though the urge was really strong.  I cried a lot that day at the realization that I had a problem.

At the time I was seeing a social worker for dealing with the emotional ups and downs of pregnancy.  I brought up the binge eating and she worked it down to my being bored.  My binging continued and I never brought it up to her again.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want help, I did, I just have a huge problem with admitting fully to my weaknesses.

Not long after that we moved.  I am taking it upon myself to change my eating habits.  I limit the amount of “junk” we have in the house.  I find things to do that keep me outside and busy.  I have a food diary that I track the things I eat.  I watch my portions and exercise.

I’m having a hard time with thought of the upcoming holidays.  I love cooking for my family.  I love that my daughter is taking an interest in what I do in the kitchen and wants to help.  I would love to spend more time with my daughter baking, but the thought of baking scares me.  I’m scared that if we make cookies or cupcakes that I’ll fall into old habits and I don’t want to do that.

The following is a link to the wikipedia listing for Binge Eating Disorder:

Binge Eating Disorder

Sleep

Sleep, what more can I say about sleep?  It’s wonderful, beautiful, delicious and I don’t get enough of it.  I’m now starting to think that my lack of sleep is the major piece that is keeping me from properly losing weight.  Our bodies do so many wonderful things when we are sleeping.  We heal, learn, grow, etc. while we sleep.  In order for me to sleep, I have to get the baby to sleep.

I know as a parent that sleep is not always a given in the early months of parenthood.  At this stage in the game though, I should be able to at least get in two solid four hour stretches.  That isn’t so.  My daughter is waking up every two hours.  I took her for her check up and discussed the sleeping schedule with her doctor.  I was told to try and feed her solids a couple times a day so her belly was full at bed time.  I’ve tried that and she won’t eat.  She refuses to eat at any other time than dinner time.  I really wish I could get her to sleep most, if not all night long.  I really miss sleep.

Diet, Exercise and Sleep

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